Student cooking and nutrition

How does this peculiar breed of human beings sustain their existence is a very interesting question. A student kitchen is probably the place with most improvisations on a square meter in existance. Let us consider some typical food groups:

Beer
No doubt about it, it is good. It contains malt, which is a source of energy, and hops and alcohol, which are antiseptic. So it is both delicious and healthy - a rare combination. Furthermore, it can be used as a "hair of the dog", providing a precious jump-start on hangover mornings. One of Belgium's kings is famous for deciding that his subjects should drink beer, not water. This turned out to be a life-saver for many people, because water in these times was considered fresh when there was life in it and clean when all the frogs and tadpoles have been taken out. No need to study microbiology to imagine where this road goes. Hellooo, infections! So drink beer. It will save your life.

Coffee
Dual-use nutrient. It keeps you awake and functioning... well, in most of the cases at least. Me - I can drink half a litre and go straight to bed. In the dreadful situation that there is no more beer in the fridge when you awake after the wildest party ever, coffee can kick you in the head good enough to start your day.

Pasta
Another critical food. It can be combined with absolutely everything - sweet stuff, salty stuff, herbs, spices, ketchup (this is a whole group by itself), even au naturelle. The last one is only pasta without any additives and usually appears on the table a day or two before next payday. The advantages are that it is a really cheap and really fast way of providing carbohydrates. The disadvantage is that it gets boring soon. This, however, can be circumvented by eating different types of pasta: spaghetti, macaroni, tagliatelle and so on and so forth. It is still the same pasta, just the different shapes create the illusion of eating various foods.

For the ones with Asian preferences, there are instant noodles. Same as pasta, but made out of rice. Even faster but not always cheaper.

Ketchup
Universal spice. Goes on everything. When the amount of kethup exceeds that of the food, a ketchup abuse occurs.

Meat
Source of lipids and proteins. Usually found as a trace ingredient in hamburgers, salami, sausages, meatballs and other processed stuff. It is commonly combined with other animal parts, chemical stuff with at least fifteen syllables and good old starch.

Junk food
Chips, chocolate, salt sticks, cookies, beer nuts and everything else people consume at parties. Students party a lot, therefore their junk food consumption can be considerably high. Moreover, chocolate can be successfully used as an anti-depressant. It is sweet and contains ephedrine... or was it dopamine? Does not matter, it is still good. Have a secret stash, just in case. Five-six bars should be adequate amount for emergencies.

Vegetables
Yeah, right.

Sugar
Welcome in all forms. It can be found in coffee or tea, in the coke/juice/fizzy drink you buy, in an ordinary lump you crunch while passing-by, in the cakes and cookies you have for your afternoon snack. In ketchup, mustard, sauces, jams, sausages. Sugar means energy. Energy good. Taken in the afternoon, it gives you a welcome boost which enables you to continue working until 21.00. If you have errands after this time, consider going back to the basics, i.e. coffee and beer.

Negotiating ice

Winter has come. Yesterday, a white blanket of snow covered the land, hiding paths, tracks, nasty puddles from the last rain and turning all bicycles into lookalikes. The city had enough residual heat to melt some of the snow. That did not matter, the frozen water crystals kept on dancing, plummeting and finally resting on the ground, until they consumed all the warmth and buried the streets beneath themselves.

The clouds dissipated. Night fell. Countless students cycled home (after some initial confusion which exactly snow-covered modern art masterpiece represents their bike), leaving a myriad of tracks in the soft water-snowy slurry. Morning came.

I had to go out to the lab to help a friend of mine with his experiment. First surprise: the cycle roads were not cleaned up. Apparently, winter managed to surprise the municipality once again, even with the early warning it received several weeks ago. Never mind that. My bike has new strong grip tires, I said to myself, a little snow should not be a problem. I would have been right, save for the fact that there was something else besides the little snow. Ice. All the beautiful criss-crossing bike tracks from last evening had frozen during the night, adding some excitement to the show. Usually, ice is not that big of a problem by itself. The actual problem was that both my tires had their own opinion on which of the thousand tracks they should follow. This turned the whole trip into a rope-dancing kind of experience, with all my muscles strained to keep my balance. Not a very pleasant thing to do. Even less when you consider the speed limits. Any velocity greater than that of an enraged garden snail would inevitably lead to my fall. And I do not like falling. Dropping down flat on your nose from 2 m height is definitely not my idea of pleasure.

Speaking of ideas, I had a really bright one. I adjusted my course and started cycling on the street instead. Boy, was that a mistake. Yes, the street was cleaned and it was significantly easier to propel myself forward. However, I had to share it with some actual drivers. Most of them still having their summer tires on. Not a nice view, considering how close I was to the action. This sort of thing is best watched on YouTube, not when you have to struggle to avoid participating in it. Luckily, I was spared any incidents. I wonder what will happen next, when I have to go downtown. Literally. Karolinabacken, here I come...

Under the rain... again

It is 1 o'clock in the morning, when I go out from the castle. For those of you that you do not know it, this is one of my several working places that sustain my existence in this Northern country. All decent folk have already gone to bed, alone or with company. Even the students, the people that make Uppsala what it is, are nowhere in sight. The streets are completely empty... as they have been countless nights before.

Only me, my bike and the rain are moving. I love this bicycle. It has been in my possession for more than three years now, carrying me through winds and snow, through blizzards and rain, over ice and mud. I no longer need to steer it with my hands. The subtle changes of pressure on the frame are enough to make it go where I want it to. If only everything else obeyed my whims as easily as my trustworthy bike...

I am tired. One more shift as a waiter has passed by. In the end of it, the last remaining employees that have not yet got home sit down on a table with the boss and trade stories. Everyday problems, past amusements and future plans were laid out. I listen. In my glass I have some 12-years old Bowmore single malt scotch whiskey. One of my favourites. The smoky taste teases my tongue, while the amber-coloured liquid lazily makes its way down my throat, washing the strain away. The boss is happy with our work and treats us to a beer. A local one, named Uppsala. Quite nice, I should say. A full-bodied lager with ale undertones. Recommendable.

I am cycling. The drinks and the company have pushed the busy evening into oblivion. No more shall I remember the awkwardly-behaving guests, the hot plates and the annoying pretentious old ladies. All what is left is the smiles of my coworkers, the lovely a-capella band and the delicious chocolate dessert offered by the chefs.

It is raining again. Celestial tears splash quietly on my cheeks as I glide unheard in the night. Their cold calmness is both numbing and invigorating. They take everything away, dissolve it and let it pour down from me as ink from a sheet of paper. I am blank again now, waiting to be filled. System of a Down booms in my ears, replenishing my supplies of rage and stubbornness, the two things that have always kept me focused on who I am and where I am going.

Finally, I am in front of my dormitory. One last look into the sky, feeling the raindrops caressing my face. An evening ritual follows. Time to go to sleep. I hope I dream.

Facebook - disconnecting people

Thanks to [censored] for sharing this story

A friend of mine decides to create a Facebook account, in order to be able to stay in touch with all his friends, associates and affiliates all over the world. However, he has no idea which ones of his friends have already created accounts, so he decides to leave this task for later. The first one that finds him is an ex-girlfriend of him, one that has not called him since they broke up.

When he decides to accept her friendship offer, a friend detail dialog box pops up, asking from where he knew this girl. He does not know that answering this question is not obligatory. After a brief consideration about who actually collects this data, he decides to go for it and clicks "We dated". The engine asks how it was. Answer is "Nice and sweet". The last question is "What now?" He explains they have remained friends. The interrogation is over and he sends the friend detail request.

Several days later he receives her answer. According to her they are more in a "Not talking to each other" than a "Still friends" kind of situation. To clarify this confusion, they actually start talking. And are having nice conversations to the point she asks him out on a concert. He accepts.

At the same time, another friend of his uses the "X Me" application. The action he performs is... well, it is hard to explain it in English. Apparently, in their mother tongue they have a word that, according to context, can substitute almost every word in a sentence in case the person speaking does not remember it. Something like "you know", I guess. And without the context it becomes an euphemism for intercourse, or so I gathered from his explanations. So this other guy youknows our hero. And my friend decides to youknow back. However, instead of youknowing this single friend, he youknows everybody in his friend list, including this ex-girlfriend.

Her reaction is unknown, but my friend never received confirmation for that concert.
Facebook - disconnecting people.