Names...

"O, sancta simplicitas!" These were the words cried out by the Czech theologist Jan Hus at his execution when he saw an old woman adding more firewood to his burning stake. To be "simplus'' in Latin is both to be innocent, humble and modest - the original meaning in this phrase - but also to be ignorant, credulous and naïve. Those last words can adequately represent my astonishment at a certain Swede's profanity.

We were both working at the club I wrote about in my previous post, though not on the same occasion. A common friend introduced us to each other. When he heard my name, he immediately asked if I have seen the movie Constantine. What?! I mean, is that the association this name calls to mind? The image of a "world-travelling, mage-like misfit who investigates supernatural mysteries"? (quotation IMDb) Another piece of Hollywood Doomsday-prevented-by-the-good-guys "epic"? What about Gaius Flavius Valerius Aurelius Constantinus, also known as Constantine the Great, the man who threw such a big boulder in the lake of history that its ripples are still deciding over our lives today. The man that single-handedly influenced the fate of Europe for millennia to come. What about his magnificent capitol, Constantinople, the Queen of the Cities, where countless invading armies have broken their fangs and claws; the last bastion of Christianity in Southeastern Europe; the city that stood tall and proud for almost a century after the neighbouring lands have been drowned in the blood of their own people, shed by the Ottoman scimitar. I mean, hasn't this guy attended any history classes at all? This is supposed to be common knowledge. What brings me greatest... no, it is not anger, it is sorrow for these commercialised people... is that it was not the first time. The number lies around ten. And in the oldest and biggest University town of Scandinavia (the University was founded in 1477), this is a disturbing tendency indeed.

Well, to restore your faith in the intellectual capabilities of the descendants of Alfred Nobel and Celsius, it was in fact a Swede that made the greatest joke with my name. All of my abdominal muscles were aching when I finally managed to catch my breath after some minutes of hysteric laughter. I was working late shift in the pub. It was almost one o'clock, i.e. closing time. A couple of friends were finishing their ales when one of them suddenly asked me:

"Hey, Konstantin, have you ever considered buying an Opel?"

As a matter of fact, I have not. I am more inclined into buying a Volkswagen - a really simple and affordable car to maintain. Yes, it fully stands up to its name - A People's Car... figures. So I answer with a question, messiah-style:

"No, why would I need an Opel?"
"Well, your name is Konstantin. So, if you buy an Opel, you can dub it Konstantinopel!"

Thank you, Fredrik! I have really started considering bringing this joke to life.